We will be 65 next year and we are looking forward to that because our situations will change, so we are sort of preparing ourselves for when he turns 65 he goes on a pension.
I’ve got alot to look forward to in the future. My husband has been selected as the Trustee of our Marae. I thought can I cope with this pressure, it’s big pressure I have to change the way I dress because Im a jeans person a real tom boy person.
So I asked my husband if I could have forty dollars for a haircut and he said, “well, if you stop doing that shit you’re doing, you had your $40 bucks”. I then hung my lip and said, you’re just picking on me now”. He replied, “no you are doing it to yourself”. So I said to him “will you help?” and he replied “of course I'll help you, but will you listen?”
Thats the problem with me: I don’t listen.
So what have I got to look forward to? Being with my family and keeping in touch with them. Keeping them close to us. And of course, there are my children and mokoponas. I want to grow with them and I want them to grow with me.
If you feel you can't cope with your alcohol problem, consider doing a drug and alcohol counselling. Get that help.
You know, I was surprised about a lot of things I could do, I didn't think I could do. And there was the encouragement of our counselor. I worked together with the counselors to help me out. It's like a burden lifted off your shoulder. You carry all that weight, that heavy weight... and when you start lifting it off you can feel the old is coming out but the new is coming in. And thats how I feel myself. You know I’m getting rid of this. I’m going to take whatever help is out there for me to help me with my alcohol.