We help each other out
I recognised how good it is hearing him tell me the truth about his problem with alcohol.
He is starting to open up. He will say when he's got that taste bud craving. And he will say, “What shall we do?” so I tell him to go do something to take his mind off it, cause they are only taste buds.
We help each other out by understanding what we have both been through. It's really helped us out, being able to communicate.
We have been married for 31 years. Our tips for any couples like us... maybe just like us and going through this, is to choose wellness over being drunk.
Take care of yourself, your body, your mind. Be relaxed. Do relaxation. Go for a walk. Do exercise.
There are a number of things you can do to take your mind off it. And not buy alcohol.
But the main thing is to talk about it. That's how I feel. Because how do you expect to understand each other if you don't know how each other ticks. And that wasn't so hard.
How... I think, talk to your whanau. If they have problems with alcohol get out and go and do these courses. Because if you're doing these courses it will help you with your mokoponos, because at the end of the day you will come out better. All that alcohol stuff will just go away.
You know if you can do as many courses as you can. That's how I feel anyway.
But for a couple, if you love each other you should share. And if you love your moko you should share. And if you have all that in place, even getting counselling for alcohol will open doors for you. It will take all that muck off you. That's what the counselling does. It's just lifts all that muck and that burden, and you can slowly see yourself going into the light. Going forward, not sideways. That's how I feel.
I believe for me, to be a person it was to be a better grandfather. Cause I look in their eyes and I think, “I want to see you guys go to school”.
I want to be a better grandfather. A better husband. Do the things that are right and not wrong. Just behave myself and just continue on my journey in doing courses. That's how I want to be: the best I can.